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As we move closer to the holidays, we are reminded that there will be a number of children who will come up with the proverbial statement, “I'm bored"!

A lot of parents will endeavour to solve this but, the thing is, it's your child’s problem to solve. There is a deep signal in this statement also that typically alludes us.

We are always amazed that children can be bored when they appear to have so many things to play and engage with.

The truth is that children today live in a world where the vast majority of their time is managed and scheduled. The stimulation is structured and the motivation tends to be extrinsic. When a child is presented with nothing but free time, after a while all the external stimulators lose a little lustre.

When faced with the “I’m bored” statement, parents often get annoyed and inevitably try to make suggestions to counter the boredom. “How about this?” “What about that?”

That's not going to solve the problem, because what your child is really saying is "I'm not engaged”. The reason for this is that children just don't get enough free time anymore to know what to do with it when they actually have it. Plus, the message our over-scheduled and over-structured world is sending them is "down time", that time when you don't know what to do with yourself, is a bad thing. It's wasted time that could be spent doing something productive. 

How do we counter this? First of all, recognise that it's not your place to come up with solutions to the boredom problem. It will lead to more boredom, because boredom is a signal that your child needs to come up with something on their own. Boredom isn't a bad thing. It is a good thing - an internal register that says my brain is craving something, and I need to muck around until I find that something that satisfies me. 

So maybe you have this chat with your child the next time they are bored. After a few trials, when they say, "I'm bored," smile sweetly and say "Okay, got it. So enjoy your free time and figure out something to do that isn't boring to you." And leave it at that.

Of course, this will work even better if we start giving children more free time, and let them know that we value it, and that it's theirs to enjoy however they like.

Enjoy the holidays with your children.

Adapted article by: Richard Rende PhD, Inside Parenting, Psychology today

Josie Ashby | Wellbeing Counsellor

Mairead Mackle | Student Counsellor

Laura Herbert | Student Counsellor

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